Duck, duck, GOOSE!
Warning to all teenagers that may have criminal ideas about my household and its belongings…
My friends have suggested that I need a dog or three. They say that will scare you more than the police. I think they’re right. I quite like the idea of watching you run for your lives as you’re chased by gnashing teeth. Lucky for you, my hubby’s not keen on dogs.
An attack tabby was also suggested, which I also think is a fantastic idea. Definitely in the “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition” department. “Ooh look, I’m fluffy and cute and I’m sidling up to you looking like I need a pet and a cuddle. WHABAM! Claw in the face! Claw in the shin! Claw in the Achilles tendon! Take that! I am ATTACK TABBY!” <insert ninja noises here.> I haven’t seen any attack tabbies around lately, though. Plus the hubby’s not keen on a cat, either.
After a bit of looking around, I’ve come up on the perfect solution. Watchgeese.
(Sidebar to my readers… My grandmother had a pair of geese, named Bert and Gert. They were fantastic watchdogs. My grandmother always knew when somebody was about. Bonus, they eat grass and bugs. Bonus again – if you don’t mind the different taste, you can eat their eggs, too. Mind you, you also have to become a ninja in order to get the eggs out of the goose nest – they’re very protective, you know. )
Yes, teenagers, geese. I know what you’re thinking… that geese just aren’t as scary as dogs. Who ever heard of a watchgoose? Well, let me tell you, they’re a lot scarier than dogs when they get going. They spread their wings, hiss, peck, and honk loudly. And they chase you!! Just ask my friend Cammie at “Life in the house of no sleep” – she’ll tell you exactly how much she hates geese. (Cammie would argue that geese are evil incarnate. She knows what she’s talking about. They follow her around and attack her randomly.)
So watch out! As soon as I can convince hubby to indulge me in this insanity, there shall be AttackGeese in my backyard. And they will honk, hiss, and chase you down until you give my house a wide berth.
(Except, erm, that hubby doesn’t like geese, either. *sigh*)