My offline reputation

I found out this week that I’ve got quite the little reputation amongst my offline friends.

They think I’m one of those straight-laced, naive, teetotaller, conservative types.

(Pause for the snort of derisive laughter from my online and Canadian friends who know much better than that. Yes, they exist.)

Heh. But seriously, I can see why they think that.  I don’t drink, not really even socially.  That’s not a political statement. I just don’t like the stuff (although there was this one lovely merlot that was in the Top 100 Wine List that I did enjoy while my parents were visiting). I used to drink because my friends did, but even then, never enough to get me drunk.

I don’t swear in public. I used to. But my hubby often said he found it “unladylike” and then when the kids came along, I got out of the habit. (Bonus – people pay close attention if I *do* swear – it usually means I’ve hurt myself badly.)

I don’t go to parties much, and if I do, I don’t stay late.  But hey, if you’re not drinking, smoking, or swearing then there’s usually not much to do at some of these parties, except watch everybody else get drunk.  I much prefer, say, a night of card games where we can all talk and get silly and eat a lot of chocolate.  Besides, I’ve got two-legged alarm clocks that are up at sparrow’s fart regardless of what time they go to bed. Staying up late just doesn’t work with that.

Enter my lovely neighbour across the road who needed a bit of help with her computer. Her son had taken her computer’s wires out to move it, and when he put it all back, managed to replace some of the wires into the wrong sockets. I made a comment about boys usually being able to insert plugs into the correct sockets. The innuendo was extremely intentional. 

She burst out into genuine laughter and then said, truly in shock “Why, Broot!! You’ve blown your cover! And here I thought you were this innocent thing!”

This comment amused me. So I did a bit of random testing of some of my other friends, throwing out a few comments here and there.

Lo and behold, I surprised them as well.   Go figure.

It seems my nefarious plot to lull them into a sense of complacency is working. Mua ha ha!

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About Broot

Thoughts about learning and life that are lost in a sea of blogs.

14 responses to “My offline reputation”

  1. Blond Duck says :

    WE know your secret though…:)

  2. Angie says :

    This totally cracked me up! I had known my husband for years (professionally) before I ever heard him swear and I thought the whole world was going to come crashing down the first time I heard him use the f-word. Turns out he can cuss like a sailor when needed 😉 He’s one of those people that everyone thinks they have figured out … but they don’t REALLY know him. Stopping by from SITS.
    Have a terrific day!

  3. Jenn @ You know...that Blog? says :

    Too funny!! No, we know you’re no angel. LOVE the expression “Sparrow’s fart”!!!!

    My friends both on and offline have the same idea where I’m concerned I think. I write the same way I speak, and I tend to speak my mind… so you either love me or loathe me. I’m content with that 🙂

    Have a lovely day!!

    • Broot says :

      Unfortunately I can’t claim “sparrow’s fart” as mine. It seems to be a common Kiwi expression. As in “Early start tomorrow. I’ll be up at Sparrow’s Fart.”

      I forgot to do my haiku. Will go back and do that.

      I’m glad you don’t have the split personality I seem to have! 🙂

  4. changingmoods says :

    I don’t go to parties much, and if I do, I don’t stay late. But hey, if you’re not drinking, smoking, or swearing then there’s usually not much to do at some of these parties, except watch everybody else get drunk.

    It does seem that if you don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs then there’s not much for you to do for nightlife entertainment. I’m not a big drinker, and I don’t smoke or do drugs, and would love to do things that don’t involve partaking in that stuff. People like us do exist!

    I much prefer, say, a night of card games where we can all talk and get silly and eat a lot of chocolate.

    Now that’s my kind of fun!

    • Broot says :

      Excellent! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one! 🙂

    • susan says :

      oh i’m part of that invisible group too…but there’s heaps to do! (although this is going to make me sound like even more of a nerd than I actually am…and I do prefer the term ‘post-geek’…)
      I go to ceroc dancing – alcohol free, over by midnight but heaps and heaps of fun for boys and girls of my age! (a certain age…)
      I like board games of all kinds, and am slowly amassing friends who also enjoy them. Great for girls nights in too.
      Obviously chocolate appreciation evenings. Occasionally with merlot:)

      • changingmoods says :

        I had to look up ceroc dancing online since I’ve never heard of it. It looks fun!

  5. Grace says :

    You have it made. Keep ’em on their toes, Broot!

    I’m kind of the opposite. I live vicariously through my blog. For every tale of debauchery, there are 2,367 boring tales of sitting home by myself watching reruns of Six Feet Under while my son is sleeping. I don’t post about the boring stuff though because. . .well. . .it’s boring.

    • Broot says :

      I think that I’m boring to my offline friends, too… otherwise they wouldn’t believe I’m not so straightlaced! 😉

  6. eof737 says :

    Hmmm Now she knows you don’t miss a trick. 🙂
    Happy Mother’s Day! 🙂
    Elizabeth

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