My offline reputation
I found out this week that I’ve got quite the little reputation amongst my offline friends.
They think I’m one of those straight-laced, naive, teetotaller, conservative types.
(Pause for the snort of derisive laughter from my online and Canadian friends who know much better than that. Yes, they exist.)
Heh. But seriously, I can see why they think that. I don’t drink, not really even socially. That’s not a political statement. I just don’t like the stuff (although there was this one lovely merlot that was in the Top 100 Wine List that I did enjoy while my parents were visiting). I used to drink because my friends did, but even then, never enough to get me drunk.
I don’t swear in public. I used to. But my hubby often said he found it “unladylike” and then when the kids came along, I got out of the habit. (Bonus – people pay close attention if I *do* swear – it usually means I’ve hurt myself badly.)
I don’t go to parties much, and if I do, I don’t stay late. But hey, if you’re not drinking, smoking, or swearing then there’s usually not much to do at some of these parties, except watch everybody else get drunk. I much prefer, say, a night of card games where we can all talk and get silly and eat a lot of chocolate. Besides, I’ve got two-legged alarm clocks that are up at sparrow’s fart regardless of what time they go to bed. Staying up late just doesn’t work with that.
Enter my lovely neighbour across the road who needed a bit of help with her computer. Her son had taken her computer’s wires out to move it, and when he put it all back, managed to replace some of the wires into the wrong sockets. I made a comment about boys usually being able to insert plugs into the correct sockets. The innuendo was extremely intentional.
She burst out into genuine laughter and then said, truly in shock “Why, Broot!! You’ve blown your cover! And here I thought you were this innocent thing!”
This comment amused me. So I did a bit of random testing of some of my other friends, throwing out a few comments here and there.
Lo and behold, I surprised them as well. Go figure.
It seems my nefarious plot to lull them into a sense of complacency is working. Mua ha ha!